There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
F1!
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1!!! F1!!!" and nobody understood it.
Fixing broken computers
An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
Email
A neighbor is outside gardening and the woman next door comes out and checks her mail. A little while later she comes out and checks her mailbox again.
This continues for 1/2 an hour until finally the neighbor walks over her and asks if she's expecting a package.
The woman reply's, "No, my computer keeps telling me I have mail."
Programming is like sex!
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Similarity between Computer and air conditioners!
Computers are like air conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows.
Computer-----Man or Woman?
SOME says a computer is a woman, if you do something wrong, they'll remember every bit of it.
Some says a computer is a man, if you had just waited one more week, you could have gotten a better model for less.
"Keyboard undetected!"
POWERING up his office computer one morning, David saw a unique error message:
"Keyboard undetected."
Then he saw how to clear the error:
"Press any key to continue."
