Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person
has, you wish you had ordered that.

A little boy asked his father "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
Friend: "And what was he before you married him?"
Woman: "A billionaire."

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Attending a wedding for the first time, Little Susie whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

Litte Susie thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"

"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully", the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."
"That's very nice, your honour", the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself".